Summer is here... well, almost, and Drive-In season is upon us again. First of all, I don't know if I have mentioned it before but I am really cheap (and I am not referring to my street value). Well, maybe the proper term would be frugal. Secondly, I love going to the movies. Unfortunately, with the current price of the average movie ticket, these two characteristics would seem to work against each other, especially if you throw a wife and four kids into the mix. That is where the Drive-Ins come in and why I love them so much.
There is nowhere a frugal person like me can find a better deal for seeing new movies than the Drive-Ins. Indoor theater prices are getting to the point that I wouldn't even consider taking the family out, unless there were lottery winnings involved (or perhaps a second mortgage). Few things in life get cheaper over time and this is true for the Drive-Ins. My mother tells me of a time when you paid $5 a car. This isn't hard to believe. How many people could you transport when the wheels were massive stones and you propelled the car by putting your feet through the floor and running (just kidding)?
Despite the fact that tickets have gone up to $9 dollars per adult this year it is still a great bargain. It is as good as any matinee price that you would currently pay at the indoor theater. And you get to see two new releases. That's $4.50 a movie, in case anyone's math skills were failing them. Where else can you see a new movie for $4.50, without illegally downloading it (and you don't have to worry about people standing up in the middle of the bootleg, or the subtitles being in German)?
If you thought the nine dollar price was great, you haven't even heard the best part. Kids under the age of 12 only pay $4, and those under 3 are free! This is good because my younger kids never stay awake for the second movie (and sometimes don't even make it through the first movie) and I would be really annoyed if I had paid full price. The unfortunate side effect of this, however, is that it has made me a bit dishonest. I say this primarily because my daughter has been under 12 years old for the last 3 years and I am starting to feel guilty about having her crouch down a little bit to seem shorter. (Yes, I have made my children accomplices. I am a horrible parent... that saves $4.50 a visit! Cha Ching!)
I always leave very early when I head out to the theater -- earlier than I really need to. I have never arrived before the gates were open, but usually I am one of the first dozen cars to arrive. The first reason that I leave so early is that I love getting a good spot right up front. If you arrive late then you end up either off way to the side or in a middle spot, surrounded by people. This can be either good, or very, very bad, depending on the people. Another reason for arriving early and being up front is that it allows me to sit back and relax while the kids hop out and run amok with all the other kids that come to the movies. Up front, right under the giant screen is a strip where all the kids gather. Soccer balls, Frisbees, footballs and baseballs all are brought out and the kids all play together and have a great time. It's awesome to watch. It is a mega-play date and the kids seem to enjoy this as much as the movies themselves.
To go back to the point where I said that I was cheap, I also love the Drive-Ins over the indoor theater because you can bring your own refreshments. There are no limitations on what you bring in your car (at least at our Drive-Ins) so you are not forced to pay the outrageous prices for food and drink that they charge at the snack bar. I usually fire up the air popper before we leave, filling up a couple of bags with popcorn, grab some soda and candy from Walmart or somewhere as cheap, and roll through the gates well-stocked. It is a cheapskate's--I mean, a frugal person's paradise! I sometimes stop and get a pizza or KFC before we arrive and actually eat dinner at the Drive-Ins as well. It's all part of the experience.
Despite everything I love about the Drive-Ins, there are a few things that I don't. First is the weather. In an indoor theater, you always know that you're going to be in a nice temperature controlled room... not at the Drive-Ins. It can be hot, it can be cold, it can rain -- I even remember having to leave early once when I was a kid because fog rolled in and you couldn't see the screen. Apparently, mother nature isn't always a movie fan (obviously she saw the Twilight movies).
Also, because the movie is shown outside, you have to wait until it is dark enough. Often they start it a little before ideal darkness levels, but when you've got two movies to get in and it doesn't actually get dark before 9:00pm, sometimes you need to start before conditions are optimal. Then again, people like to show their impatience by honking their horns, and will do it if they feel it is dark enough, and the movie hasn't started. (I hate the car honkers.) Though our local Drive-In just got new projectors so it has been pretty nice so far.
One of the things that I would have complained about most in the past was the sound system at the Drive-Ins. I hated it so much that I would have gone to the indoor theater if I really wanted to see a film. Those crappy little speakers that you stuck to your car window were terrible. The sound that they created sucked and that is assuming that they even worked in the first place. You quickly learned that the first thing that you did when you pulled into a spot was to test the speaker. Most of the time the speakers were fine but sometimes they would have a short in them, that crackled every time you moved them. This meant every time you opened the door, to let the kids in and out, the sound would go out. I won't even go into the fact that many people have driven away with the speaker still in the window (just for the record, I never did). This is probably why some of them don't work.
But now the sound system for the Drive-Ins is on a radio channel which means the sound goes through your cars speakers. So in many ways, I prefer the sound at the Drive-Ins. Indoor theater sound is waaaaaay too loud, most of the time. Whenever there is an explosion, you feel like your ears are going to bleed. In the car, the volume is always just right! The only problem with this system is the people who leave their car on too long, or have things on other than the radio and end up with a dead battery at the end of the night. I have yet to do this, by the way (knock on wood).
The biggest problem I have with the Drive-Ins is the bugs. Mosquitoes black flies, other people's children -- these pests descend on you and yours unmercifully in the heat of summer. If you don't bring your bug spray, you are not in for a delightful evening. Nothing is more annoying than the buzz of bugs in your ears while your trying to enjoy a movie. Then there are the bites and the constant smacking of yourself, trying to kill the little beasts, that distract from the film. If it is cool enough the bugs don't come out and all is well, but if it is really muggy out then the bugs are swarming and it is too hot to leave the windows open. But then again, if it is too cool the windows fog up when they're shut. You just can't win sometimes.
There are other minor annoyances at the Drive-Ins, just like in any theater. The indoor theater has the chit-chatters; Drive-Ins have the people who turn their lights on during the show. Despite the differences, it usually boils down to other people being inconsiderate and this can happen anywhere. I do have to say that the Drive-Ins do have some pretty unique situations. I had a skunk walk up to me and sniff my feet when I was younger and sitting outside, something that I doubt happens in regular theaters.
Unfortunately, Drive-Ins are slowly disappearing across the country. It is sad, especially with all the fantastic memories I have accumulated over the years. From the years of going with my parents to the present where I am bringing my kids. I can only hope that Drive-Ins will be around long enough for my kids to bring their kids, or for me to bring them. Not that I am in any rush to be a grandparent.
I have seen many movies throughout the years at the Drive-Ins -- some awesome, some not so much. I have only ever left early once in my Drive-In theater history because a movie was just so bad, and I think that was more because my wife-at-the time insisted. (I believe the film was Mafia!, starring Jay Mohr, so I really can't fault her too much for that.) That to me is truly the best thing about the Drive-Ins, the fact that if one of the two movies is an absolute piece of shit, you can justify the money you paid with creative math. You can say that you paid full price to see the good movie, and got to see the crappy one for free. This may seem stupid to most people, but to those who are cheap like me, this fuzzy math helps.
P.S. I just have to mention, because of the nature of this blog, that our local Drive-In theater has the second most disgusting bathroom I have ever been in. Number one goes to the bar in New Jersey I went to for my brothers bachelor party. I must confess that first, I have not been in many bars in my life, so the concept of a pee troth was a little jarring. Second was the fact that my time in there was spent watching my brother lean against the stall and projectile vomit.
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