On Parades

"I love a parade...." goes the song. Well, the composer obviously hasn't been to a small town parade in a while. Okay, that was a bit harsh, but that has been my basic opinion of hometown parades for several years. The reasons for these feelings will be discussed below, but this year, despite my thoughts about them, my wife and I decided to take our two year old to my hometown's annual 4th of July parade.

The reason for my negative attitude can be boiled down to the number of parades I have gone to over the years. I am not saying that I am a parade stalker or anything like this, but when you have kids, you often find yourself compelled to go. Whether it is because the children are participating in the parade itself, or because they are really excited to go, too many times you find yourself standing in the boiling heat, watching another parade slowly meander by.

Now if I lived in a big city, then I might get excited about going to a parade. Twenty foot tall balloons of classic cartoon characters, today's hottest performers singing on floats, famous actors and actresses riding in cars... now that would be awesome. But those are not the parades I have been to.

Let's break down a small town parade, just in case you have never been to one. First of all, there are the fire trucks. Not just one company, but usually three or four, from the firehouses of the surrounding areas. I have nothing against fire trucks, but really, when you've seen one, you have seen just about every one. You can change the colors as much as you want, but it's still just a fire truck. To be honest, I hope to never see a fire truck, outside of a parade. Because if I do, chances are, someone's property is on fire, and that just sucks.

In the same vein as the fire trucks, there are the rescue squads. Again, I don't want to see ambulances, as they are a sign that something is terribly wrong. (I am not even talking about the fact that it will be about a $1,000 dollar ride to the emergency room.) Besides, don't these people have more important things to do than be in a parade? With all the idiots with fireworks out there, the EMT's and first responders should be sitting in their vehicles ready to roll. I'd hate to see them plow through a marching band to get to the scene of an accident (actually, that would be an interesting sight, as long as no one was hurt).

Speaking of marching bands, are there any local schools that have marching bands anymore? When I was a kid I remember my parents dragging me to the parade because my brother was in the school band. I also remember watching the school band practice at the end of the year for the Independence Day parade. This year, there were no hometown school bands. Because of our town's Scottish heritage, there were two bagpipe bands though. Kilt clad men and women playing the beautiful but shrill bagpipes, doing all of the traditional bagpipe band classics (Amazing Grace, etc.). There was a drum corp from somewhere, a community marching band from the town next door and another local community band that wasn't even marching. They were playing on the bed of a large truck (very smart considering the temperature). They were all very good, and one of the highlights of the parade for me, but still, it was not super exciting.

Let's not forget the classic cars! Okay, let's do forget the cars. I am not a car person and never have been. The cars are nice to look at, but I have never dreamed of owning one and I sure as heck couldn't care less about what is under the hood. It could be a dozen hamsters on wheels for all I care. (Actually, that might pique my interest.) I know a lot of people would disagree with me on this, but, as Popeye said, I am what I am... and a car lover I am not.

A parade would not be complete without floats, and this parade had four (I think). They were well done, of course. I am not going to belittle the hard work that went into the floats. Everyone involved spent a lot of time designing, constructing and decorating the floats, and they all looked great. I'm just saying, they were not as exciting as a big city's parade floats. There were no stars or famous performs on them, just the people that made them. They did a great job despite the lack of big budget.

Parades like this usually have all kinds of walkers included. From Girl and Boy Scout troops, to other special organizations involved in the area, there are traditionally numerous groups marching and walking the route. This year's parade had only a couple of groups on foot. I am not complaining, I was just surprised that there were so few. Are there just less local activities or school groups than there used to be? It was probably a good thing, as it was about 200 degrees out and I was dying just standing there.

When did parades become Halloween? Kids were standing on the sidewalks with little baskets and bags and gathering candy that was flung out of firetrucks, off of floats, and from pedestrians. It was a shower of candy with kids scrambling about collecting the goodies. A piece landed near me and I refused to bend over and pick it up. I was not willing to debase myself, and grovel on the ground like a starving man for candy. Well, I would have if it had been something other than a peppermint hard candy. I don't even consider this candy.

There of course were a few extras thrown in; the Shriners with their go-carts are always a parade classic. Granted there were only two, but still, they were there, fez's and all. There were horses, and the smell that accompanies them. The Washington County Dairy princes was in attendance with her court, and the cupped royalty hand waves were flying. A horde of children had decorated their bicycles and rode them down the street. I have absolutely nothing negative to say about them -- they were adorable! I am sure I am forgetting some other stuff, but it was your classic small town parade, just like I have seen dozens of times before.

Some maybe saying, why did you bother going? Why devote a whole blog post to criticize a parade that many are so proud of? To be honest, despite my whining, I had an awesome time! I loved it. I love my hometown and am proud of the parade they put on. And this year, I was not watching through my eyes, but those of my two year old daughter. The absolute look of delight in her eyes as she looked and saw the fire trucks and said "look daddy, fire truck!" was priceless. The glee at seeing the horses and the kids riding their bicycles was worth standing in the sweltering heat for more than an hour. "Look Daddy, Look" was repeated over and over again. She loved the parade, and therefore I did as well.

A hometown parades is one of the best parades you can go to. It doesn't have the polish of a big city parade, people don't spend thousands of dollars creating floats or hiring the best marching bands. But it is your friends and neighbors, coming together, in this case to celebrate the birth of our nation. I scanned the crowd and saw the faces of people I grew up with, went to school with, and haven't seen in years. I actually had to stop and talk to the two MCs of the parade; one was my old high school gym coach (who I still wanted to call coach, and who gave me the nickname of Butkus, a name that most people from my hometown still call me). The other was a friend I graduated both high school and college with and hadn't seen in a few years.

I don't live in this town anymore, but the parade was dedicated to a local EMT who recently lost her battle with cancer. Her name seemed familiar but I am not sure if I knew her or not. She obviously was someone who touched many lives in the town and they honored her in a very touching way. They made her the posthumous grand marshal of the parade. I am glad we took my daughter to the parade, because it is not just about fire trucks and marching bands; it's about community spirit. No spirit burns brighter than that of a small town.