On Unintended Plagiarism

I was listening to one of the comedy channels on iTunes the other day at work when I heard a bit of stand up by Dennis Miller. I am not sure what year this particular special was taped in, but it certainly made me mad. I enjoy Mr. Miller's stand up, as well as his TV show and his work on SNL, but in this set Dennis ruined my imaginary stand up career.

For years I had an idea for a little comedy bit. It wasn't a huge shtick (That's what she said!), but I told it to several people and usually got a good laugh from it. The more I told it, the more I tweaked it so that everything would be just right. I even said to myself that if I ever got the intestinal fortitude to go to an open mic night and do some stand up, this little routine would be in my set.

I have always loved stand up, but listening to a diverse selection of performers is a fairly new thing for me. When I was a kid I remember finding a Bill Cosby record in my parents' very eclectic music collection and listening to it over and over again. (I can still hear Bill making the sawing sounds as Noah was building the Ark.) As I got older, I can remember enjoying Eddie Murphy (Delirious and Raw, before he sold his soul to Disney... not that I'm judging), Sam Kinison and Andrew Dice Clay. (Yes, as loathe as I am to admit it, I remember loving the Diceman when he first came out. After hearing him at age 40, I can't understand what I ever found funny about the guy.) But it was only the comedians that were big at the time that were available for me to listen to. The Internet has allowed me to experience so many more artists. Thank you, Al Gore!

I used to go to comedy shows up in college, but I unfortunately went to St. Lawrence University, a small private school in the middle of nowhere. The college did not draw any big name comedians and the ones it did draw were probably rethinking their choice in agents after the show. I went to as many shows as I could, and even got pulled up on stage and got to pretend to be Tina Turner at one. The highlight of my collegiate stand up viewing was when Jay Mohr performed and I got to talk to him a little bit after his performance. He was still hosting Lip Service on MTV back then, so I guess there was little chance of his career sinking any lower! He was a pretty cool guy, from what I remember (which isn't much).

Throughout all of this, I never even had a chance to listen to any of Dennis Miller's material. Well I did catch him on the Weekend Update and on his HBO show, but not any of his stand up specials. Therefore, it was a bit of a shock when I heard a routine of his that was almost identical to the little bit I had created. I first heard this similar routine about a year ago and I know this special is older than that. There are some slight differences in our two pieces, but if anyone had heard both bits, I would surely have been accused of stealing his material.

There is a tiny chance that I heard his bit and liked it so much that I somehow unintentionally stole it. Maybe I repeated it and completely forgot the joke's origin. I am not sure when he first did this material but it was probably before I first came up with my routine. Even if I had come up with my stand up before he did his, I doubt he got it from me. (Gee, you think?) Unless he got it from some sort of nine degrees of separation scenario. If that was the case, maybe it passed through Kevin Bacon at one point? I truly think we just had the same idea and got to the same comedic place. You know what they say about great minds!

What is the routine you might be asking yourself? Well now that I have built it up it will probably not be nearly as funny as I always thought it was. This is how I used to tell it....

I was watching the Wizard of Oz the other day and it got to the end, after Dorothy risks life and limb to save the day and ends up missing the balloon back home. The good witch floats down and tells Dorothy, "You have had the power to go home all of the time!" If I was Dorothy I would have punched her right in the face and said, "Yeah bitch? I've had the power to go home all this time? You had the power to tell me this three hours ago!" I would have called her the "Not so Good" Witch of the North and a master manipulator as well. She lures Dorothy to Oz with the intent on having her kill off her witch competitors, which Dorothy does with a house and a bucket of water. I mean, how many witches were left after Dorothy's assassinations? Dorothy even "killed" the wizard, the ruler of Emerald City, in a sense. There was a serious power vacuum generated from all of Dorothy's "work," and only one witch to fill the void. It all sounds very suspicious to me.

I had another bit I had been working on as well, and was ready to use it when I thought I would do a Google search to see if there were any other skits similar to it on the Internet. Yep, once again, someone else shared the same thoughts that I did. Two people watched the same movie and saw something that made them laugh. (There are more than us out there, I just don't have the time or energy to do the research.) I must admit, the article that the other person wrote went into a lot more detail than mine and mentioned scenes throughout the movie. This is how my other little routine went...

The other day I was watching the classic film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (No wonder I haven't had a lot of time for blogging; I have been watching all of these films. LOL.) I am not sure if I am the only one who feels this way but in my opinion, Grandpa Joe is an asshole.

You may be saying to yourself "Grandpa Joe, Charlie's lovable grandfather, an asshole? No!"

"YES!!"

Let me tell you why I feel this way. When we first meet the Bucket family, all four grandparents are bedridden. We never find out what exact ailment has confined them to their beds, but it is certainly implied that they are stuck there. I mean, if they could, they would surely be helping the family somehow. Charlie's mom is sweating over hot laundry vats, washing other people's clothes, and doing what she has to to provide for the family. Even Charlie is selling papers, to bring in more cash to support everybody. But the grandparents? They are too sick to work or even get out of bed.


As if earning enough money to get food on the table (or bed trays) for six people wasn't enough, they give Grandpa Joe an allowance for tobacco? Seriously? Are we supposed to feel like he is this wonderful grandparent for stopping his vice and using the money to buy Charlie a chocolate bar for his birthday? Has anyone else realized that this was probably Charlie's money to begin with? Despite all of the odds, Charlie finds the last Golden Ticket and brings it home. The next thing you know, not only does Grandpa Joe get up out of bed, but he starts dancing around the room. Dancing? Really? He goes from freeloader to Fred Astaire in less than a minute. All this time he could have gotten up and done something to help the family, maybe even allowed Charlie to be a normal kid and not have work selling papers, but nope. Why ruin a good thing?! What would have been nice, is if they got to the Chocolate factory and the whole thing was just an elaborate ruse. Willy Wonka paid Charlie a large some of money and Grandpa Joe was forced to work in the chocolate factory for the rest of his days.

Comedians are often accused of stealing material from their peers and are usually hammered unmercifully for it. I am not going to say that this doesn't happen, but I certainly think that it is possible for several different people to see or experience something and find the same humor in it. There are only so many experiences and situations that are shared by all of us, and only so many ways they can be made funny. Unintentional plagiarism seems like a plausible excuse. So the next time that you hear a comedian and think that their routine sounds a bit familiar, try and give them the benefit of the doubt. But if they suck, let them have it!

I can not guarantee that all of my musings are unique and have never been written nor thought before by someone else. I can only promise that I am sitting on the toilet, in the car, on the bed - wherever I am writing - and spewing forth the craziness as it comes into my head.