On They Might Be Giants and Not Being Too Old to Go to a Show

I recently saw an ad from one of my favorite bands (They Might Be Giants) looking for people to join their secret fan club. I am technically not allowed to talk about the club (haha, inside club joke), but one of the many perks were two "free" tickets to any one of their upcoming shows. I looked up to see where they were going to be playing and I saw Albany (which is close to where I live) was one of the stops on their tour. Doing a little math, comparing the cost of  two tickets and all the other stuff they were offering versus the cost of the membership, it ended up being an easy decision. I joined!

The last time I saw the band, a good 5+ years ago, it had been at the Egg, which is a fantastic venue located in Albany so I assumed that this is where they were going to be playing. TMBG even sang a song about this venue called, surprisingly enough "The Egg," Why would I think the concert would be anywhere else, right? .... right? <Fill in phrase about assuming and asses and me and you, etc.>

Later, as more details came out, I noticed the tour posters and such said they were actually playing at the Upstate Concert Hall... which is not in Albany but Clifton Park (which is 20 miles north of Albany.) This concerned me. I had never been to the UCH before and had heard mixed opinions about it. Some people told me it was good, but it really depended on what band was playing. Others said that it was just a big bar, there was no seating and it got very hot, especially with a lot of people packed in it. 

Now this last bit was a bit distressing. I am not that old (44) but the thought of standing for a couple of hours with my wife, with a ton of people crushed into us in a sweltering, confined space did not appeal to me. I almost talked myself out of going. The tickets were basically good forever and I figured I could just wait for the band to perform in a location where I could sit my lazy ass down. I decided to just suck it up and go and let me tell you, I am very, very , very glad I did.

Just to give a brief history of my concerting experience. My first show was Guns N' Roses opening for Aerosmith late in high school (88'-89' ish). Next I saw the Violent Femmes at my college before  "Blister in the Sun" was a hit for them and that was pretty much it, until I got divorced a little over 5 years ago. Then I saw a friend/co-worker's band play a couple of local bars, went and saw Cake, Weezer (It was also supposed to be Blink 182, but they had to cancel at the last minute) and TMBG the first time. All of the latter venues all had seating, so my wimpy ass was fine.

Fast forward and now I find myself and my wife at the show. We got there really early and got pretty close to the stage (maybe 3-4 "rows" back). The place was not as bad as I had heard... actually it was pretty cool! The temperature was not overwhelming, though I could see it being bad in the middle of summer. The band played two sets and my wife and I dropped back after the first set to cool down a bit.

I can't even begin to tell you how fun it was. I got to annoy the people behind me with my amateur film making (though I covered the back of the camera with my hand to try to minimize the glowing screen, I'm sure the people behind me were like, "All right Spike Jonze, that's a wrap!") I also got repeatedly jostled by the happy, dancing, were-so-in-love couple next to me. My wife kept getting hit by the girls hair, so I think she may have had it worse. We also had the periodic tall person drift in front of us which just made me enjoy the experience all the more.

I never really went to the dive bars and shitty venues to see bands. I don't drink so I never really went to bars in general. This concert made me feel that I was getting to experience a little of what I missed, especially considering I was there with a beautiful woman. Not only was the music great but so was the crowd. Then again, I really wasn't expecting it to be that bad. TMBG is not a death metal band and is known not only for their alternative/indie rock but also their kids albums (they did not bust out with "The Hot Dog Song," but I am sure it would have been hilarious if they had) so there was no mosh pit or really aggressive personality types. It was just a very mellow crowd enjoying an awesome band.

The band was promoting a new album which was good for the people around me because I was unfamiliar with the lion's share of the songs they played so the crowd was spared my awful singing. That is by far my biggest fault as a concert goer. I'm a wanna be singer and I am terrible at it! Despite the many new tunes, they played most of their big older titles for all us long time fans and it took me back to college where I was first introduced to They Might Be Giants.

I will never be a reviewer because I like everything. I am not a musician so I wouldn't even notice if the music was off, unless it was really, really noticeable, so I will just say they sounded great. The light show was good, the volume was good (I was not deafened by the sound) the band was hilarious and really had great onstage banter. Everything was just, in a word... awesome. When the show ended, I could not believe how much time had passed. It went by too quick. But you know what they say about time flying when fun/a good time is involved.

The only thing I will say negative is (not specifically about TMBG, but concerts in general) that I really hate the concept of the "encore." I was already getting tired and hoarse from a long night of screaming and clapping and then you have to do a bunch more to get them to come out and play a couple of more tunes. You know they were already planning on coming out again and then they make you do it again. I wish they would just say that "We are going to do two encores tonight. We will say thank you and good night and duck down a little bit, pretending we ran of the stage. All of you just do one round of rhythmic clapping and we will pop up after it crescendos. You cheer. We play an extra song or three. We will do it all one more time and the show will end."

When my wife and I left the show we were both pretty wired, but weary. In younger days we probably would have hit Denny's or something, but being old folks with kids, we had to get home. My sister was watching the little ones and we figured she would like to get home at some point before dawn. Over all it was a great experience. With having kids and dealing with the regular day to day of adult life, it was nice to jump in the time machine and act like our younger selves. My wife and I have been friends since college, but have only been married for a short time. We missed a lot of these wild crazy nights, but if this concert has shown us anything, we aren't too old to make new memories and rock on! Now if I can only convince her to go see GWAR when they are in town next....

ps. In case you don't know who GWAR is. Here is a photo (though their lead singer just passed last year, I am using a photo with him in it. Miss you Dave!)

           

On Griswolding (or How I Started Becoming My Father)

I have to say, it is hard to keep up writing the blog when I am trying to do a couple of large side projects, working a regular job and raising children. I wanted to get a post out a while ago, but that didn't happen. This is one I wrote a while ago and is probably in need of proper editing, but I just had to get something out. Speaking of raising children, after Christmas I got my first visitation with my three oldest kids since their sudden move to Virginia over the summer. (My ex-wife decided to move down there with her boyfriend which is another story altogether.)

It was great seeing the kids, as one can imagine, but it did have its challenges. Fitting everyone in the house for a week, my oldest son had a seizure in the van on the way home from getting them and one the last night he was here, (He had a seizure a couple of years ago and he is now my third child diagnosed with epilepsy.) and just the change in energy that a they all brought to the house was tough (not to mention the quantities of food they consume!!).  Despite all this it was a great visit.

I have to admit, my older kids have some issues, and whenever I talk to them on the phone, especially around holidays and birthdays, they do remind me a bit of the kids in "Talladega Nights." The scene that always pops into my head is when the children are told by Will Farrell's character that he and their mother are getting a divorce and they start cheering and saying "Yaaaa. Two Christmas' " Not that it is that bad, but the subject of present giving becomes the common theme of all conversations before these holidays/events. 

One of the activities we did as a family when the kids were here was go bowling. My wife and I have taken everyone before so we had a good idea of what we were getting ourselves into. My sister and her husband joined us (My brother-in-law coming was a surprise because he is not a big fan of children (or maybe just my hyperactive ones.)) which helps with kid wrangling and to keep things flowing smoothly. Unfortunately I knew we were going to have trouble as soon as we walked over to our lanes and saw the arcade directly behind us.

My kids, like I was when I was a kid, are obsessed with arcades. Shiny lights and all sorts of noises draw them like moths to a flame. As I said, I understand them because I was them, many moons ago. I am still like that to some degree, just watch me in Applebee's, or any restaurant that has a TV going. I barely like sports and will stare blankly at the screen (Which my wife loves, I can tell you (sarcasm, if you missed it)). I knew the arcade would a sirens call, but I decided I would try to stop it.

I set ground rules at first and said I would give them some time later in our bowling adventure and for a time things were going well. I don't know when I lost it. I think it was when the kids finished their game before ours. They asked if they could go check the games out and I foolishly said "sure." Then I lost them. The adults finished, and we all started the second game. I looked over at the kids lane and only the person bowling was there. The other two were sitting on plastic motorcycles, pretending they were actually playing the arcade game (something else I always did as a kid as well.) 

Time and time again it was calling into the arcade to let the person whose turn it was to come out and bowl and I started getting annoyed. I finally snapped when my older daughter threw the second ball of her frame and ran back to the arcade before the ball even got to the pins. I called all three kids over and made them sit and participate in "Family Fun." Of course I had some scowls and grumpiness, especially from my 15 year old daughter, but they rolled with it pretty well.

On looking back, all I could think was "I'm turning into my father." I remember putting my father through the same kind of stuff when I was younger, especially during the teenage years. We (my family that is) often referred to my dad as Clark Griswold (from the Vacation movies.) He never gave us the "Were going to have so much fun we'll be whistling Zippity-doo-da out of our assholes" speech, but he certainly tried to make sure we all had family fun, whether we wanted to or not. At the time I don't remember much more than being annoyed. Now that I look back and especially now that I am a father, I get it. It hits home even more considering how little time I ended up having with him, since he died of a heart attack at 45.   

I honestly felt bad that I snapped at the kids during bowling. None of it was their fault. I set my expectations way too high and did not follow through with the rules I had established. With only getting to see my kids a few times a year and the fact that they are growing so damn fast, I guess I wanted to have as much "family fun" as I could before the kids are grown up and on their own. With what happened at the bowling alley, I really feel like have embraced my inner Griswold. I bet my father couldn't be prouder.