Well, despite the fact that I said I would not be using toilet humor, I am going to go ahead and contradict myself by starting off with a bit of toilet humor. And when I say that, I mean it literally. Now I am probably going to lose half of the readers right away (the XX chromosome half that is) by talking about urinals. Like most bathrooms, the ones we have at work contain two urinals. One is at what we will call a "normal" height, the other is about a foot shorter. I have always thought of this lower one as the kids urinal, since it is closer to the ground and thus easier for a child to reach without making a horrible mess. I have to admit that I always try to use this one, firstly because I still consider myself a big child, secondly it makes me feel like a giant (or an NBA star at the very least).
One day, while using the "kids" urinal it dawned on me, Why would the company need to have a kids' urinal in the rest room? We don't employ children (this is frowned upon in many countries, and there are very specific laws on the books here to prevent it from happening). There aren't a lot of children coming to visit the company. Schools seem to have little interest in conducting field trips to explore the exciting world of television listings and employees are not allowed to have their children sit in their cubicles while they work (even if they would want them there).
Then it suddenly occurred to me... midgets (or little people if you prefer).
Could these shorter urinals really be there to accommodate the needs of any employees that the company has or might hire in the future that are of the shorter variety? Is there a law somewhere that says you need to have one "little person" urinal? Have "little" employees ever sued a company for not having short urinals or quit because a company didn't have any? Has this urinal situation come about because companies care about the toilet accessibility of its employees or is this just a product of our litigious, politically correct society?
What would be the alternative to installing midget friendly urinals, a foot stool? That would certainly be much cheaper, but let me tell you, based on my aim and the generous amounts of "water" on the floor in front of most urinals I have used, that would be the last stool I would ever want to touch (and on the bad pun side of the fence, there is only one foot stool I would ever like to see, and I usually flush it afterwards). Then it occurs to me that I am waaaaaay over thinking this. It is probably just the way the manufacturer sells them (or contractors installs them) and there probably is no agenda by anyone concerned. Though the thought of a "little person" conspiracy theory would be pretty interesting.... All I know for sure is that no matter what the reason, I will forever refer to them as the midget urinals (or little person urinals if I am feeling politically correct that day).
And on a urinal side note, a friend of mine once said that it would be awesome if the urinals would play music when you stepped up to them. And why not, they have the auto flushers (which will be a whole other post at another time), so maybe the motion sensor could fire up some rousing music. Something relaxing to enhance the experience. Now, the company that manufactures the urinals at work is named ToTo. The name is right on the top and I see it whenever I look down while I'm taking care of business. Because it shares the name with the popular 80's band, every time I walk up to it I hear "... I bless the rains down in Africa....." in my head. I really don't know what song I would rather hear. Feel free to share.
And on a side, side note, I noticed next to the company logo are two measurements. 1.0 Gpf/ 3.8 Lpf. Seriously? They have invented a measurement especially for toilets? I assume it is for toilets only, as I cannot even come up with another thing that flushes. I wish I could just make up a system of measurement for something that I do. Maybe my left butt cheek could have 3 Fpd. (any one who knows me will probably say it should be about 30 Fpd).
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