On My Criminal Record

Not many of you know this about me, but I have a criminal record. I have a Class B Misdemeanor for Check Fraud. It sounds a lot more exciting than it actually is. Check Fraud makes it sound like I was in the basement with my secret check-making press, working for the criminal underground or something--but it was nothing like that. Let me tell you how it happened.

This was back in the dark days when I was still married to my first wife. We were living in a room off of her parents' house and were not exactly raking in the money. In fact, I think I was between jobs at the time, which was why we were living there. Her parents were not the Rockefellers either; they survived on my ex's father's disability check and whatever odd jobs he could pick up. They also supported their other three children who, I believe, at the time were still in school.

Because my ex-father-in-law received a monthly check, they were usually getting low on cash at the end of every month. He had an arrangement set up with the local hardware store that he would post-date a check and they would hold it for him and cash it once his disability check came in.

For whatever reason, one month my ex-father-in-law asked me if I would be willing to write a check for him. I don't know if they were out of checks or if they had already written one that month but for some reason, he needed one. He explained how the arrangement with the hardware store worked and guaranteed me that everything would be fine. The store would hold my check until he got his disability check, no worries. I explained that I only had about 15 dollars in the bank at the time, and would not even come close to covering the check. I didn't even have enough to cover the bounced check fees if they did put the check through. Again, he reassured me that there would not be a problem. I wrote the check and that was that.

We were running low on groceries at the time so I went up to the local grocery store and wrote a check for about twelve dollars and restocked--well, as much as purchasing twelve dollars in groceries can be called restocking. Well, as you all will be quite shocked to hear, the hardware store cashed my check early. Yes, I can hear the gasps of surprise from here. The hardware store check bounced and the bank charged me for the insufficient funds. This lowered my account low enough where the $12 check to the grocery store bounced as well.

I went to my ex-father-in-law and wanted to say "WHAT THE F.....???", but because I am waaaay to laid back, I merely said "What the heck?" He told me that a new employee at the hardware accidentally put the check through and he promised he would take care of it. I asked if this also applied to the grocery store and he said of course. After he had received his check, he said that he talked to all the people involved everything was all set. He even gave me money to cover the bounced check fees.

At this point, I should mention something important: The very same local grocery store that I had wrote the check to had been robbed shortly after the check had bounced. Their safe had been cleared out. I don't know if they ever caught the person who did it, but it was the talk of the town. There was even a debate in our household at the time whether or not my bounced check ended up stolen with the rest of the safe's contents. My ex-father-in-law said that he talked to the store owner and it was all taken care of. I should have been suspicious, because he never came right out and said that he paid the check, just that it was taken care of. I took him at his word and put it out of my mind.

Fast forward about six months. We were still living with my in-laws, but I had a job and had been working for a while. I came home from work and my wife said that a sheriff had stopped at the house and needed me to come up to the jail. They apparently needed to talk to me about something, so I headed up. I asked my wife if they said what it was about and she said no. It was only about a five-minute drive, so I didn't really have a lot of time to think about it, but I was very curious. What could the sheriff have wanted? I was utterly clueless.

I got to the jail, where the sheriff's office was located, and went to the front desk. I told the officer at the front desk who I was and that a sheriff had been by my house and said that I needed to come up. He explained that the check I had bounced at the grocery store had never been paid and that the owner of the store had sent my name to them. And that is when they began the process of arresting me. Finger printing, having me hold the little card up while I got my mug shot, etc. I was in complete shock. Me, arrested? I was sent to the Principal's office once in high school, but only because the substitute that we had that day was so flustered by my obnoxious classmates that when he saw me studying for a test that I had next period, and not doing the worksheet that we were supposed to be doing, he immediately told me to go. (Let me tell you, everyone in the office was shocked to see me.)

I didn't end up in a jail cell or anything; they told me when the court date was and sent me home. I guess someone who bounces 12 dollar checks isn't considered a big flight risk. I asked the officer on duty what I should do and he said that I should immediately go and pay the fees that I owed and just explain what happened when I went to court. So I went home and payed the fees the next day. The court day came and it was a simple thing: I told the judge what happened, pled guilty, and said that the fines were paid and that was that. The situation was resolved and I had a shiny Class B Misdemeanor for Check Fraud on my record.

The whole thing infuriated me on many different levels: First, my ex-father-in-law either lied to me, or just made a mistake about the bounced check being taken care of. I will take the higher ground and think the latter, but whichever was the case, the result was the same--I got screwed. Second, why did the grocery store never contact me? I mean, the town I lived in was not a very large town. I doubt they would have had to hire Dog the Bounty Hunter to track me down. I could have paid that check, and any fees that were associated with it, over a hundred times in the months that passed between the bouncing and my court date if I had known about them.

In the grand scheme of life, this was a pretty minor thing. On the many job applications I have filled out over the years, it was just one more thing I had to write in. Let me tell you, I never thought that I would ever have to list my misdemeanor on any applications I filled out. I always wondered if there was something I could have done differently to prevent me from having a criminal record. Should I have contacted a lawyer from the moment I was "arrested"? Could I have gotten a plea bargain? Have I been watching too much Law & Order? Could I have it taken care of now? Does it ever go away like points on your license? If you are reading this and you are a lawyer, feel free to let me know my options. Just to let you know, I now have more than 12 dollars in my bank account. I also have a house, two cars and a baby (not to mention my three kids with my first wife), so my account balance isn't much more than 12 dollars. Also, if you are charging for your council, can I pay with a check?