It was great seeing the kids, as one can imagine, but it did have its challenges. Fitting everyone in the house for a week, my oldest son had a seizure in the van on the way home from getting them and one the last night he was here, (He had a seizure a couple of years ago and he is now my third child diagnosed with epilepsy.) and just the change in energy that a they all brought to the house was tough (not to mention the quantities of food they consume!!). Despite all this it was a great visit.
I have to admit, my older kids have some issues, and whenever I talk to them on the phone, especially around holidays and birthdays, they do remind me a bit of the kids in "Talladega Nights." The scene that always pops into my head is when the children are told by Will Farrell's character that he and their mother are getting a divorce and they start cheering and saying "Yaaaa. Two Christmas' " Not that it is that bad, but the subject of present giving becomes the common theme of all conversations before these holidays/events.
One of the activities we did as a family when the kids were here was go bowling. My wife and I have taken everyone before so we had a good idea of what we were getting ourselves into. My sister and her husband joined us (My brother-in-law coming was a surprise because he is not a big fan of children (or maybe just my hyperactive ones.)) which helps with kid wrangling and to keep things flowing smoothly. Unfortunately I knew we were going to have trouble as soon as we walked over to our lanes and saw the arcade directly behind us.
My kids, like I was when I was a kid, are obsessed with arcades. Shiny lights and all sorts of noises draw them like moths to a flame. As I said, I understand them because I was them, many moons ago. I am still like that to some degree, just watch me in Applebee's, or any restaurant that has a TV going. I barely like sports and will stare blankly at the screen (Which my wife loves, I can tell you (sarcasm, if you missed it)). I knew the arcade would a sirens call, but I decided I would try to stop it.
I set ground rules at first and said I would give them some time later in our bowling adventure and for a time things were going well. I don't know when I lost it. I think it was when the kids finished their game before ours. They asked if they could go check the games out and I foolishly said "sure." Then I lost them. The adults finished, and we all started the second game. I looked over at the kids lane and only the person bowling was there. The other two were sitting on plastic motorcycles, pretending they were actually playing the arcade game (something else I always did as a kid as well.)
Time and time again it was calling into the arcade to let the person whose turn it was to come out and bowl and I started getting annoyed. I finally snapped when my older daughter threw the second ball of her frame and ran back to the arcade before the ball even got to the pins. I called all three kids over and made them sit and participate in "Family Fun." Of course I had some scowls and grumpiness, especially from my 15 year old daughter, but they rolled with it pretty well.
On looking back, all I could think was "I'm turning into my father." I remember putting my father through the same kind of stuff when I was younger, especially during the teenage years. We (my family that is) often referred to my dad as Clark Griswold (from the Vacation movies.) He never gave us the "Were going to have so much fun we'll be whistling Zippity-doo-da out of our assholes" speech, but he certainly tried to make sure we all had family fun, whether we wanted to or not. At the time I don't remember much more than being annoyed. Now that I look back and especially now that I am a father, I get it. It hits home even more considering how little time I ended up having with him, since he died of a heart attack at 45.
I honestly felt bad that I snapped at the kids during bowling. None of it was their fault. I set my expectations way too high and did not follow through with the rules I had established. With only getting to see my kids a few times a year and the fact that they are growing so damn fast, I guess I wanted to have as much "family fun" as I could before the kids are grown up and on their own. With what happened at the bowling alley, I really feel like have embraced my inner Griswold. I bet my father couldn't be prouder.
